AidaReza

Enter the Dragon

2012-01-25T22:35:00.003+08:00

The year of the dragon has arrived. Sarah and I high-tailed it to Ikano for our first lion dance on the first day. Sarah really got ong coz she was handed a mandarin orange from the lion. She was so happy. What she didn't like was the loud clanging sound and stuck her fingers in both ears the whole time. Before the show we had brunch at Ikea. All humanity that did not travel back kampung was there. Just to get Sarah a plate of pasta took me 20 minutes instead of the usual 2 minutes. Anyway, it was a fun day out for us.

Happy holidays

2011-12-23T21:21:00.001+08:00

This is Sarah's new headlamp. I accidentally broke the old one her granny bought for her. This was only RM18.90 at Tesco. Since school holidays began we have been lepaking at home, went swimming with her tadika friend once and a day trip to Port Dickson plus lots of outings to malls in between. We took the training wheels off her bike. She is almost there but not quite. Parked the bike at mama's for the time being.

Family Day @Diyana

2011-11-16T11:00:00.004+08:00

Sarah has had a rough week. On Thursday 10th November in the wee hours of the morning, she had high fever. The fever came and went until Friday. Her head and torso was boiling hot. She said she felt cold inside but no pain. Wiped her down with a cool cloth, gave Panadol to bring down the fever and made her rest.

On Saturday, she felt much better so we took her to Auntie Gemuk at FAM for char kuey teow. On Sunday, she was right as rain again. Photo taken during story-telling on Sunday at tadika.

Sarah graduates from...tadika

2011-10-24T10:00:00.001+08:00

Sarah finally finished tadika.

Seems like yesterday she was crying an screaming during her first 2 weeks at Tadika Diyana.

Hope she looks back fondly of her tadika years as I will.

Negaraku Malaysia

2011-09-10T23:21:00.009+08:00

Sarah recited the rukunegara during assembly this week. I got a video of her but too lazy to post it.

What does it mean to be Malaysian?

For me it means being free to say and do as I wish. I can go out and not worry about bombs or being abducted for ransom. It means I can eat at any time of day and choose any type of food. I can get in a car and drive on paved roads to reach a beach or a waterfall within an hour or two. It means I can earn a decent living and not have to sleep on the roadside. My daughter can go to school and get a proper education from primary to tertiary level.

I am grateful to the folks who fought for independence and formed Malaysia. I shudder to think what nation we would have become.

I am proud to be Malaysian. There is no place like home.

Of Teeth and Cakes

2011-08-28T22:35:00.008+08:00

Sarah's first tooth fell out a few weeks back. It was the lower right molar. She nearly ate it. She was at tadika munching on corn fritters and felt something hard as she chewed. It wasn't painful she said. Now second molar loose and on its way out too.

Baked 3 cakes yesterday. Irene was at my place so roped her in to decorate the 2 carrot+walnut cakes. These were for Reza's grandma which his mum brought up to Taiping this morning. Once she had the piping bag she was a on a roll. All the pent up creative juices flowed.

On that note, here's wishing you Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri 1432.

A day in the life of Sarah

2011-07-14T10:37:00.003+08:00

So there we were in Empire Gallery mall in Subang Jaya on the eve of July 9th. Sarah had just spend an hour playing in Kidszone. After-wards we went strolling for something to eat. Me being damn blur did not see 1902 hot-dogs. Suggested Tarbush to her as she saw the menu and decided on deep fried fish and fries.

We sat down and ordered. Her dish came so she ate. Then mine came which was a lamb kebab wrap. She eyed it and when I asked if she wanted a taste she said ok.

There was some sauce on it so I licked it off first. She ate and said it was good so I gave her more. Then 5 minutes later she said her lips hurt and before you can say "The Lost World of Tambun", it began to swell and swell. 5 minutes later her eyes began to water and itch followed by a huge breakout of hives at the sides of both eyes.

I forced myself not to panic, paid the bill and walked to Caring Pharmacy. Got a box of antihistamine in syrup form and gave Sarah a dose. By this time she was in tears because of the itchiness and swelling plus she was feeling self-conscious.

Met up with Reza (he has a meeting in the same mall) who quickly folded her in his arms. We headed for the car and began our journey home which was full of traffic jams and roadblocks.

In the car, she complained her tummy was sore so I rubbed and rubbed. Just before Sg. Buloh toll, she heaved and out came all her dinner. We stopped and cleaned her up. After our own 'operasi Bersih', we had to go round via Kota Damansara to get back to Damansara Damai.

Got home at 10 pm after leaving Subang Jaya at 8.15 pm.

I guess the culprit of the allergic reaction must have been raw onion as the lamb was nestled in it or the onion juice must have gone into the meat.

We can laugh about it now because it was just not her day that day. Poor Sarah. Love you my little dino-princess.

Teratoma

2011-07-03T20:49:00.008+08:00

UPDATE 14 July 2011
Mummy was discharged on 12th July. This was taken on 5th July an hour or so after the operation. The anesthesia made her groggy. She could hear us but couldn't talk much. She is taking it easy until this Saturday when her stitches come out.

The cyst was finally diagnosed. It was a teratoma.

Mummy 'checked-in' to Hospital Angkatan Tentera (HAT) Tuanku Mizan, Wangsa Maju on 30.06.2011.

She has a benign cyst in her womb that has to be removed. Operation is scheduled for 05.07.2011.

We visited her twice since she was warded. For Sarah Mummy's room is a new playground.

Akhirat

2011-06-05T19:49:00.003+08:00

You can do as you want now.

You can justify all you want...now.
Shout all you want...now.
Yell all you want...now.
Scream all you want...now.
Rage all you want...now.

Just remember, akhirat is mine.

Dapur Sarawak 17 May 2011

2011-05-18T10:45:00.004+08:00

I had the most God-awful Sarawak laksa at Dapur Sarawak yesterday. So bad that I must blog about it and inform the world of this sub-standard dish that is served there. I don't think it is owned by Mahmud Ali Basha/M Ali Basha anymore as the banners with his photos are gone. The guy manning the place yesterday looked nothing like the actor. Googled info on the place and looks like the photos and write-ups about this place are not the same as what I had yesterday.

The Sarawak laksa was small-portioned, very thin gravy with 2 medium-sized prawn, 10 beansprouts and half a dozen omelette shavings. The accompanying sambal was oily. No choice had to eat it and boy how I wish I hadn't.

The mee kolok was just as disappointing. It had this black soya sauce thingy on the side and the accompanying broth has beansprouts floating in it. The noodles tasted like Maggie mee. What is going on this is world!

From now on I will make my own Sarawak laksa in my own kitchen. No more hoping that there is a decent Sarawak laksa joint outside of Kuching.

Reza said this is how the Malay version of Sarawak laksa tastes. He said I have been brought up my a Chinese Sarawakian mother thus my taste buds and expectations of Sarawak laksa is different to a Muslim Bumiputera Sarawakian. Ewah, ewah, pandai dia defend this place. I said fine. I must now ask my fellow Muslim Sarawakian friends as to how a Malay Sarawak laksa tastes like. Otherwise I have to go find a Malay stall selling Sarawak laksa then next time I am in Kuching.

Here is Dapur Sarawak's address:
1-0-13, Jln 1/50 Diamond Square
Off Jalan Gombak

Photo credit: http://www.wangsa-maju.com/2010/06/mee-kolok-at-dapur-sarawak.html

Mothers

2011-05-03T09:04:00.003+08:00

I cannot imagine how it feels not to be a mum now that I am one. The saying is true, a mother's job is never done.

I am always worried about my daughter, is she hungry, happy or hurt? How can I make it all good for her.

I have a great mum but unfortunately, I did not inherit her mothering skills. I am clumsy, rough and rude. My mum on the other-hand is kind, soft-spoken and patient.

She brought us up with lots of love and a well-fed stomach. We were not rich, did not go on holidays anywhere or have expensive toys but we were happy.

I love you, Mummy. Happy Mother's Day.

Dino cake

2011-04-05T11:18:00.005+08:00

Sarah wanted a dino cake she saw on howdini.com so last Thursday I baked a cake using a pre-mix from a box. The most difficult part was the icing. Never in my life have I ever made icing. Reza helped by mixing manually by hand but after a while it looked pretty much a disaster. Off we went to Giant to buy a RM55 hand-held mixer. An hour and a half of mixing later the cake was finally done. Phew! Sarah did all the decorations.

Took the cake to her tadika the next day to share with her friends. After singing Happy Birthday everyone yelled for a piece. It was a winner. All gone in 15 minutes. All the effort was worth it. Alas, the mixer has gone back in its box and is sitting in the dark in the deep recesses of my cupboard till next March.

Sarah is 6

2011-03-31T08:59:00.005+08:00

So Sarah said she wanted the ocean and sand for her 6th birthday. Closest beach was Port Dickson even though we knew Kuantan would have been better. She had 2 days of chasing the waves and building sand castles.

On the way home she asked how far was PD from home. I think it is a hint she wants another visit soon.

Happy birthday, my darling. We doakan that your life will always be filled with good things. Insya'Allah.

Reza is 36

2011-03-22T19:57:00.003+08:00

My other half turned 36 on Tuesday 15th March 2011. We went for a drive to Pasir Penambang where my mum belanja (treated) us a seafood dinner there. We ordered sweet and sour crabs with mantou (steamed buns), steamed garoupa, fried noodles and fried rice. The photo here was taken before the food arrived that's why the table looked so nice and clean. Once the food came, it was immediately devoured so no time for photo taking.

On the way back we stopped at Bukit Melawati just to have a look. The drive up the hill was very creepy as some parts were not lit properly. I was thinking of all the hantu momoks and polongs when suddenly Reza decides to pull a prank by winding down the power window on my side. I jumped and started screaming so freaked out I was. Everyone had a good laugh. That's Reza for you, Mr. Joker & Teaser extraordinaire. I guess that's why I fell in love with him.

May Allah bless you always and keep you in good health hubby dearest. Amin.

She will be loved

2011-02-15T18:11:00.005+08:00

My beloved grandmother passed away on the 12th of February 2011 in Perth, Australia. She would have turned 84 in May.

I remember her as a very energetic woman, always busy, never sitting still. My earliest memory of her was when I was 5 or 6. At that time we lived in Kuching where my dad was stationed (he was in the army). My grandparents house was on Arang Road and they had a dairy farm then. She would wear her black rubber boots, milk the cows then come to the kitchen and cook a huge meal.

I remember going to her room where she had a huge bolster which I loved playing with. She was always kind and ever the indulgent grandparent. She always made sure I try to speak Hakka with her as much as possible.

I last spoke to her a week before Christmas. She sounded well. We spoke with a mixture of English, Hakka and Malay. At that time my mum had already said that my Popo was sickly but her spirits were still high. Am glad I managed to chat to her.

The photo above was taken in September 2005 when Sarah, my mum and I visited her in Perth. I will always remember her as she was in that photo.

She will be loved. Always.

http://www.heavenaddress.com/FuneralNotices/tabid/99/ctl/SearchFuneralNoticeHP/mid/659/Name/Agatha%20Siew%20Jin%20Shim/CountryCode/ALL/Default.aspx

Rabbity New Year & Old Friends

2011-02-08T09:33:00.007+08:00

The year of the rabbit has begun. Sarah and I went to 1Utama in the evening of the 1st day and was rewarded with a lion dance. Sarah is a massive fan of lion dances despite the loud din. Told her the loud music is to chase away the bad spirits. She still stuck her fingers in both ear throughout the 20 minute performance.

The week before, I met up with old college buddies from Edinburgh. We are always in touch via a group forum on Google but since D was back from UK, one of us suggested Myra host a makan-makan at her place in Klang. So that was where 7 of us ended up on a rainy Sunday afternoon. It was a potluck do. I brought nasi ulam and sambal belacan.

Myra (actually her mum) cooked lamb cutlets (with the best gravy ever) and prepared salad. Apidah cooked hailam mee (Sarah's favourite) and Nani brought bread pudding which was the fastest to disappear. Has brought chips which went well while we chit-chatted after eating main courses and dessert. Noora brought oranges which at first Nani and I thought were buns from a bakery. As usual when we get together, we get very kecoh (noisy) but it was fun catching up seeing all the kids growing.

(seated on sofa L to R are Apidah, Khadijah, Noora and Has; seated on the floor are Myra (L) and Nani (R) with yours truly perched furthest on the right)

Maxis TTDI

2011-01-25T10:51:00.010+08:00

Roy Ramesh, Centre Manager, Maxis TTDI

Mohd Fazlie B. Miskat, Techincal Support, Maxis Centre TTDI

So there I was yesterday morning (Monday 24th January 2011) with a bag full of sayur after a visit to the pasar and walked into Maxis TTDI.

My request was simple - transfer contacts from BlackBerry (BB) to an iPhone. That was when the drama began.

The CSO (Customer Service Officer) at the payment counter who has the most indifferent and sullen disposition, Azmeer, straight away said no, cannot be done.

I was adamant and raised my voice saying it can be done because my husband's contacts from a BB was already on the iPhone. Now I want his contacts replaced with mine.

2 other CSOs (Customer Service Officer), Hidir and Nazman said the same thing. "Tak boleh Kak, memang BlackBerry tak boleh, itu kelemahan dia". My blood slowly went upstairs. Pagi-pagi dah "No, no, no." - senang je lepas tangan.

I can see their faces going, "Akak ni memang bengong betul laa, dah cakap tak boleh, tak boleh laa...eeee geramnya...mampuih la aku tak nak tolong, nak menjerit-jerit pulak...ish".

I asked what about using Desktop Manager then sync to MS Outlook then sync to iTune. Hidir said cannot do it as his contacts will all go to my iPhone and walked away, so did Nazman. Aha! It can be done albeit a roundabout way. He was implying it was tedious but won't go the extra mile for me.

So back to Azmeer, who was quiet as he provisioned my main SIM to the iPhone. The CSO next to him also went mute and tried to ignore me. Fine.

By this time confirmed my darah sudah naik atas. The centre's manager Roy Ramesh saw this and came over. He gave me a queue number for technical help on the first floor. Up I went and I got attended by Fazlie. He understood what I wanted and without much ado, he began to back-up my contacts to the centre's laptop. I was there the whole morning 9.30 am t 11.30 am.

I took the opportunity to make my complaint about my experience to Roy. Told him staff at the payment desk are defensive, and unhelpful. He said he will have a word with them.

I am sure they are good workers and nice human beings but they really need to check their faces in the mirror before they punch in. A little empathy, listening skills and a smile can really make a customer happy.

I left and came back at 4 pm. Still not done. No problem I said to Fazlie. I can come back tomorrow. Swapped my SIM card so I can make calls. He SMS around 6.45 pm yesterday saying it was done.

This morning I went there and all 644 have been transferred from my BB to iPhone thanks to Fazlie who was courteous, helpful and murah dengan senyuman.

As I was walking out, I seeked out Roy and suggested he transfer the frontliner CSOs to back office or answer calls at Maxis help-desk in Sunway for a week. Maybe then they will appreciate their job better. He just smiled and said "Ok, ok".

To Mohd Fazlie B. Miskat, thank you very much. Maxis should have more staff like you.

Nama saya Oren

2011-01-13T10:44:00.004+08:00

This is my neighbor's cat. His name is Oren. About 2 years old. I mistook him for a female because at one point I thought he was a she and was pregnant. Turns out he is just a fat cat and loves his food. He is so fat his back legs have to kangkang when he lies down. He is always sprawled like that at the front door, the stairs, everywhere. I rarely see him sit up like normal cats do.

Sarah loves him and admires him from a far. Only I will stroke his head and his back. Last month he went missing for a few weeks. Sarah was uber upset. Was he stolen? Was he run over and left for dead? The owners put a cat missing poster on the notice board. Nothing. Then just before the new year, he re-appeared. We asked his owners and they said he came back just like that. No idea where he had been. Sarah was all smiles.

Happy new year 2011

2010-12-31T23:39:00.003+08:00

1.1.11 - fabulous date.

Should have done proper family planning and popped out number 2 tomorrow.

The three of us are parked in front of the telly watching the live telecast from Dataran Merdeka. Earlier we went out for dinner. Had Subway, KFC then drove to Paya Jaras to look for durians - no joy. Drove on to Kuang and finally found a stall there. Since it is not durian season we were charged RM20 for 1 fruit. That works out to RM16 a kilo! Dessert settled. Next, we had nasi goreng belacan, meehoon goreng and daging merah for main course at Vichuda which was next to the duran stall. Once mains were done we finally tucked into the durian. 2 ulas (seeds) each. Happiness. Cravings quelled.

Adios 2010, you were mighty good. Hello, 2011, please make it better for me.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

2010-12-08T11:04:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year Hijrah 1432, Gregorian 2011 and Merry Christmas! There, I've said my 3-in-1 greeting. No need to worry about updating this post till January 2011 sometime :o)

This past few weeks have been spent watching telly, hanging out at malls and the park. We went to Dinos Alive exhibition currently on at the National Science Centre. It was a case of 'indah khabar dari rupa' (big hype but in reality not so). Feel sorry for those folks who made the trip from out of town. Maybe I just have very high expectations.

This was taken a few days ago when I took Sarah bike-riding. She loves her helmet and refuses to ride the bike without it. I love this photo so much.

Selamat Hari Raya Haji

2010-11-17T19:00:00.003+08:00

At 38 I finally saw my first lembu korban live, up close and personal being sacrificed. It was the first for Reza and Sarah too. Sarah admitted later that she felt like puking when she saw the jugular being cut and when the blood spurted out 3 feet high.

I guess real life blood really cannot beat horror movies. It was so funny how she casually mentioned it in the car on the way home.

Here is a list of the dishes we feasted on:
- ketupat
- rendang kerang
- sambal tumis udang
- kari ayam
- asam pedas kembung
- sambal tumis ikan
- ikan goreng
- ikan masin
- kacang goreng tempe
- sambal mempelam
- nasi putih
- lemang
- rendang daging
- oranges
- watermelon
- tapai
- coffee/tea/cordial

These was served in one house over the course of 5 hours. In between waiting for the tok sidang, filming the korban and for the meat to be cut up, we just ate, ate and ate.

Syukur Alhamdulillah the korban went well and we were able to witness it.

November Already?

2010-11-09T10:18:00.008+08:00

We had a quiet anniversary on the 26th of October.

Sarah took this photo of us. We took a drive and ended up at a mall (where else!).

School holidays around the corner. Have to plan what to do with Sarah to keep her occupied.

I can only think of swimming and taking her to parks for bike rides for now. Wish me luck.

Museums

2010-10-12T08:58:00.005+08:00

This past week we have visited Tugu Negara, Tun Abdul Razak Museum and the old Sri Perdana in Damansara Heights where Dr. M used to reside. Don't why suddenly we got the urge to visit these historic places. Maybe it is an excuse not to visit shopping malls for a change. Discovered there is an excellent nasi campur joint at Tugu Negara where all the gomen folk go for their lunch. We got there late so not much lauk left. Nevertheless, I enjoyed my plate of rice with lemak cili api nenas, ikan masin and a hot fluffy omelette. Alhamdulillah, life is good. Amin.

Selamat hari raya

2010-09-27T21:58:00.004+08:00

Today is 18 Syawal. Alhamdulillah, I have replaced the 3 days I missed in Ramadhan. We had a great raya. On the eve, we were in Melaka then on the first day in Ulu Yam. Second day back to Melaka. Third day was a 'rest' day then fourth, fifth and sixth raya in Taiping. All that traveling took its toll. Had to replace the rear tyres as they were balder than the bald eagle.

Here is Sarah in her dino-kurung on Merdeka eve at her tadika. They had a merdeka dance and parade in the hall. I traced an image of a dinosaur, cut it out on felt and sewed in on. After all that I discovered a shop that sells iron-on dinosaur patches. Sigh!

Merdeka

2010-08-31T11:13:00.001+08:00

Merdeka came and went. Didn't even watch the celebrations on TV. I don't think I love Malaysia any less by not watching it, right? I love Malaysia. I can never see myself living anywhere else. I was born and bred here, this is home so this will also be be where I will be buried. I am grateful and thankful to Allah for making me who I am - a Muslim Malaysian. A fact that I refused to accept when I was in my twenties. Thank God time has given me some sense.

I made a batch of agar-agar kering on Sunday. Been drying it for a days but still not dry. It is driving me bananas. I have no patience so this is really a test for me. I saw some selling for RM18 at Bangsar Village but told myself to try to make my own. Now I wish I bought a jar and save myself the hassle. At this rate, it might not be ready for raya. I cut it too thin as well so it looks really weird. Will post photos up when they are ready.

Birthday & Oven

2010-07-30T13:11:00.009+08:00

So I turned 38 a few days ago. Syukur Alhamdulillah, He has let me live this long. This year no cake, no party, no holiday etc...just a quiet dinner at Nando's. I guess I am getting old. Lazy to make a big fuss. My mum is still in Perth. If she were here then I would make the effort. We would have cooked a big meal and have cake. I had 2 eggs but no noodles even though my Popo reminded me when I called to speak to her. Aiyaa!!

A week before my birthday, we got a 35 liter oven. Since then I have made pizza, creme caramel, churros (Mexican-style cakoi) and roast chicken. Next, am going to try moist chocolate cake. Wish me luck!

churros

creme caramel

All dolled up

2010-06-30T23:09:00.003+08:00

After many delays and excuses, I decided to change my MyKad photo today. I had to wear make-up as based on past experience, without make-up I look washed out. First, put on lots of under-eye concealer, second blemish cream to cover dark-spots all over face, third was face powder, then dotted lipstick on cheeks for blusher followed by eye liner and finally lipstick. The only thing missing was eye shadow as I realize I had none. Felt weird with so much make-up on. I stopped wearing even lipstick since after raya last year. Can't be bothered. Only use sunscreen when I remember.

All dolled up and after dropping Sarah at her kindy, I drove to JPN in Section 8, Kota Damansara. I had called a few days before and the officer said "Datang hari Rabu, tak ramai orang". The man did not lie. I was served under 20 minutes. The lady that processed my application (RM10) was also the 'photographer'. She even decided the first shot was not so good so she took another one. She even let me have a look. Wah!!! So kind of her. I was quite surprised how fast I was served because when you mention JPN, your start to think of long queues and waiting around. Well, this branch proved me wrong. Thank you JPN, Kota Damansara.

I love you, Ken!!!

2010-06-19T00:32:00.006+08:00

We took Sarah to see Toy Story 3 yesterday which I think is the best out of the trilogy. The storyline is superb and the characters are fabulous (rasa macam Kimora using that word haha). The 3-D glasses made me dizzy for a bit. Once I got used to it, the movie became really enjoyable. Sarah sat in her seat for the entire duration with the 3-D glasses on - we are so proud. She has definitely have matured since our last cinema visit. Did you know that it has been 11 years since Toy Story 2?

My favorite character from this installation is Ken (voiced by Michael Keaton). He is a scream. Ken has made being vain really cool for a guy. If you have not seen it - GO!!!!

A small act of kindness

2010-05-21T13:31:00.001+08:00

10.40 AM
Am sitting in the car parked outside the tadika waiting for Sarah. Promised to take her to 1U to find a foam piece to replace the horn on the stegosaurus hat we bought in Singapore lat year. She wept quietly when she tore the horn last night. She tried to fix it with tape which didn't work so she cried even more. Very emotional with her toys she is.

This morning, as I approached my usual gerai in TTDI market I saw that all the tables were occupied so decided to join this Malay guy eating alone at a table for four. I flashed him a smile, put my paper on the table and went to take my food (2 cucur bawang). I came back, sat down right in front of him and began to eat when my teh o ais and nescafe tarik came.

We never spoke or looked directly at each other after the initial eye contact. He ate his food and when finished lit a cigarette. All this I observed out of the corner of my eye while I was eating and reading my paper. He got up once he finished his cigarette and went to the gerai helper to ask her to total up. He paid and walked away.

The gerai helper came up to me and said "Akak, abang sudah bayar". I was like "Huh?" then I realized she meant that he had paid for my food. Syukur Alhamdullillah, Amin, I uttered in my heart. At the same time tears sprang to my eyes. I was just so touched by this stranger's kindness because this morning as I finished my Subuh prayers, I doa to Allah, please grant me rezeki in any form and not two hours later, I got a free breakfast. To some it may be nothing but to me it meant a lot. We just need to pray with a sincere heart and just submit to Allah. Always keep the faith.

Quiet month quiet me

2010-04-28T20:54:00.001+08:00

"Don't reply when you are sad. Don't make a decision when you are angry". These were sent to me by a friend. How very true. When we are sad and angry, we say stupid things and act like morons. But it is so satisfying to feed the anger and act impulsively. Anyway, am rambling.

April has been quiet for me. Too quiet say some of my close friends. I am so transparent. They know me so well. I guess I just want to lay low.

This is a photo of Sarah with her hatched dinosaur (stegosaurus). A present from a grandaunt who came for a visit a few weeks ago. I wonder what she will move on to next. Reza reckons it will be about space and planets. Oh dear.

Sarah is FIVE!!!

2010-03-31T15:54:00.004+08:00

Our beloved girl is now 5 years old. I remember thinking when she was born, "Can't wait for her to go tadika". Well, she is in now and the years just flew by. We took her to Sunway Lagoon on her birthday and stayed a few nights at Sunway Resort. She had a smashing time. I just loved seeing her having so much fun.

Al-Fatihah - Syafia Humairah Sahari

2010-02-28T14:10:00.000+08:00

Saturday February 27, 2010

KUALA LUMPUR: A three-year-old child, believed to have been abused by her single mother’s companion, was pronounced dead upon arrival at the Kuala Kubu Baru Hospital last night.

Hulu Selangor police chief Supt Norel Azmi Affandi Yahya said the body of the victim, Syafia Humairah Sahari, was brought to the Kuala Kubu Baru Hospital by the single mother’s companion and his accomplice, claiming that the child was involved in a road accident.

The 28-year-old man who brought the child’s body to the Emergency Ward at about 8.30pm, hurriedly left the hospital, apparently to make a police report.

“When the nurse wanted more information from the man, he fled the scene, claiming he was going to make a police report.

“At 11pm the hospital staff contacted the police, wanting to know if there was any report of an accident.

“But since there was none, the hospital inspected the body and found marks believed to have been caused due to abuse,” Supt Norel Azmi said yesterday.

He said initial investigations revealed that the child who had suffered injuries to her chin, stomach and below the ears, was believed to have died while on the way to the hospital.

The police later detained the man, a taxi driver, at 3am to facilitate investigations.

The single mother, who lives at Kampung Batu 30, Ulu Yam Lama, and the man are believed to have known each other for six years and have an 18-month-old child from their relationship.

He added that the mother, who fainted after hearing of her child’s death, was receiving treatment at the Kuala Kubu Baru Hospital.

Meanwhile, according to a witness who refused to be named, the suspect had brought Syafia Humairah to a football field and while playing, the child suddenly started crying.

The witness added that upon hearing the child crying, the suspect, who was wearing football boots became angry and started stomping her in the presence of many people.

Those who witnessed the incident later rushed to the child’s aid and released her from the suspect’s clutches before putting her in the suspect’s taxi to be taken to hospital. — Bernama

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I am sickened and disgusted. No matter how badly a child misbehaves, we as adults should know better than to lose our cool. I have my grumpy moments and yes, I admit I do have the urge to smack my daughter but I stop myself. I count to ten and walk away. If I do smack her, it is at her ankles and only lightly just to show her that her actions were not acceptable. Never in my mind was the intent to forcefully hurt her.

Syafia's stepfather is an animal. A bastard. His days are numbered - jail inmates detest child-killers. I hope gets done in soon.

Hello 2010!

2010-01-23T10:27:00.006+08:00

2010 is here. I have no resolutions. They just don't work for me. To me, everything is a day at a time. Since the last post, I came down with viral fever, so did Reza while Sarah had food poisoning and diarrhoea. I recovered first followed by Sarah and last was hubby dearest.

So now am back on the tadika run. My 'me' time are weekday mornings from 8.30 am to 11.30 am. I usually go to the market, have breakfast there then ronda-ronda (wander/window-shop) the stalls. If not, I would come home, catch a nap (I sleep very late at night) then wake up just in time to drive back to tadika and pick Sarah up. Thereafter, we usually go to a nasi campur joint (Sambal Hijau) in Sg. Penchala; sometimes we eat there, sometimes we bungkus (takeaway). Sarah will only eat catfish with soya sauce so that is her staple lunch. A variation would be unagi and miso soup. Her dietary habits really stresses me out so am not going to go in to that here.

Anyway, the Sultan of Johor passed away...the notorious and cantankerous one - Al-Fatihah. Also, Robert Lam, the news reader, whose voice I really loved hearing, has died - may his soul rest in peace.

Here is hoping 2010 will be a good one for all.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T20:33:00.003+08:00

It is Christmas eve. Sarah and Reza are curled up on the sofa watching a horror movie. I can hear it while surfing and typing this. Another Christmas is here again. I hope my family in Perth, US and UK are ready for a great weekend and that my Christian friends are all with their family.

The whole month the malls have been so crazy. Even the folks who are not celebrating Christmas also took the opportunity of the sales that are going on. I made sure that we only ventured to the malls on weekdays either early in the morning or late evening as that is when there were less people. The only mall I know that never gets super busy is Giant, Kota Damansara. It is my favourite place to shop for groceries. When I was growing up in Lembah Keramat (AU5), the first Giant store opened in Taman Permata which was a mile down the road. Almost everyday, my mum and I would go there to buy groceries even though our fridge was full. My mum loves to have a look-round and that habit has brushed off on me.

Thus, if I don't visit a supermarket (any one will do but Giant is preferred) for a few days, I get restless. It is an addiction. I don't buy much, just want to look-see, you know, to window-shop. Yes, I know what the supermarkets have and how much the items cost but I still want to go and wheel the trolley round the aisles. Do I need therapy?

Anyway, Merry Christmas!

Field Trip - Bomba station

2009-11-18T17:39:00.005+08:00

Sarah went for her first field trip today, to a fire station in TTDI. She was all excited and woke up without much fuss this morning.

The bus was late so the kids only left around 9 am. She got back to the tadika at 1 pm where I picked her up and asked about the trip. She said the fire master told them the equipment were expensive, she got a chance to try the water hose, sat in a fire truck and wore a helmet.

She was more excited about their pit-stop at McDonalds where she has nuggets, fries and a toy rather than the visit to the fire station. That's children for you.

2009-10-31T22:38:00.000+08:00

The month of October came and went in the blink of an eye. This whole month has been non-stop eating and not because of open houses but due to pure gluttony. My appetite just grew overnight and so did my tummy. The lady that runs kiddie rides at The Curve asked me if I was pregnant. Gotta to diet and exercise. My main problem is over-eating. Moderation is not in my vocabulary when it comes to food.

We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary on the 26th with dinner at Friday's. Sarah came too because we had no babysitter (grandma in Perth). I remember our nikah day at the mosque near my house with only 3 office colleagues in attendance and family in attendance. Reza and I were around 30 and 15 kilos lighter respectively. I wore an anak tudung which I hastily bought at Semua House because I was ignorant about which type to buy and too embarrassed to ask; so served me right when on the day, a friend asked "why are you wearing a shower cap?" - adoi!!!

Syawal 1430H

2009-09-30T23:48:00.005+08:00

Panic, panic because today is the last day of September and I haven't updated this blog. Well, Ramadhan came and went which I miss. Now Syawal is here and somehow my cooking skills have vanished. The assam pedas I made a few days ago was awful that I threw it away. The tom yam soup yesterday was too sour. What the fick!!!??? Ah well, it's just one of those unsolved mysteries of my life.

Raya was good because in the end I heard Black Dog Bone's Cahaya Aidilfitri only twice. Woohoo!!! We didn't take a family photo this year. Just plain simple forgot. Open house visits so far - 1.

Ramadhan is here

2009-08-22T16:42:00.004+08:00

Today is the first day of Ramadhan 1430H. It is ten minutes to five pm now. I imagine the bazaar ramadhan stalls are up everywhere and the sellers putting out their trays of food. In an hour's time, there will be hundreds of people buying food for buka puasa. In the past, everyday during Ramadhan, I would be one of the first to throng these stalls and buying more than I can eat. Mata lagi besar dari perut.

Not this year. This year, I will restrain myself and only go to the bazaar a few times a week. The same goes for buka puasa. Before this, every year I will buka puasa 5-6 times outside and checking out the papers for buka puasa buffets. In short, fasting before this was only about abstaining from food and drink - I thought that was good enough. How ignorant I was. Well, I have changed and this Ramadhan for me will be more about ibadah as Allah has commanded.

37 and counting

2009-07-28T10:27:00.001+08:00

I had a gorgeous birthday today. Spent it with my darlings - Reza and Sarah. We planted a small plant at the garden out back then had dinner at The Gardens Mid Valley. Reza bought me The Essential Michael Jackson - yay! Had lovely birthday greetings from friends here and afar which really made my day. I feel so blessed to be here. Syukur Alhamdullillah.

Al-Fatihah Celestia Lulua Taib

2009-06-04T18:41:00.004+08:00

The death of Sarawak Chief Minister Mahmud Taib's 4 year old grand-daughter (Celestia Lulua Taib) saddens me so much especially the circumstances leading to her death; she slipped and fell into a swimming pool. As a mum of a 4 year old girl, this piece of news really sent shock waves into me. Children have no idea of danger which is why as parents/carers, we must have visible contact of them at all times. Having said that, this is an accident, no one is to be blamed - Allah has His reasons for taking Celestia. I pray Allah gives Celestia's family the strength and patience to move forward.

Al-Fatihah.

Shoes

2009-05-15T18:31:00.004+08:00

Went to Tadika Diyana this morning to pay Sarah's term fees. She starts on 15th June but am taking her for a few days trial next week. After paying up (extortion!!!), took her to Bata to buy her a new pair of shoes. Since any colour is ok, she decided on a pair of red ones.

I had an emo moment as the images of her in uniform skipping to class and leaving me. My eyes began to water at the thought. She hugged me and said, "Don't cry, Mummy, I will never leave you." Uwahhh!!!! Wanted to cry even more when she said that.

Reza also told me not to be silly and added that soon she will be in university. Trust him to say soothing words. Men! Anyway, we got the shoes but completely forgot the socks. Haiya!

Got home to find there was no space to put her new shoes; took out all her old shoes and photographed them one by one to remember them by. She had so many pairs, more than me and she is only 4. Am giving away most of them but keeping the favorites below.

Her No. 1 all-time favorite - Adidas.

Her second favorite pair - Carter's.

Changes

2009-05-13T20:58:00.003+08:00

It has been a few weeks since I donned the tudung. Many have asked me why and my answer is, "for Allah Ta'ala". I had been toying with the idea of wearing it for a while now. Discussed it with Reza who was surprised but had no objections; dragged him with me to the tudung shop where he was completely lost but paid up for my purchases.

Of course I was apprehensive as to what friends and family would say because those who know me well went, "What??!!...Aida pakai tudung??!!". However, Alhamdullilah...they have been supportive. I always knew I would wear it eventually but I surprised myself this time. Hahaha!!!

Now I scrutinize how other women wear their tudung. Some wear it spun round their heads with loads of pins and brooches; some tuck them in their blouses; some with bling bling (SO not me) and the list goes on. Pening! So far am happy with the all-in-one tudungs from Ariani and Sri Munawwarah with the latter being my favourite but at RM60 a piece, it ain't cheap. Luckily most of my blouses are long-sleeved so I don't have to change my wardrobe that drastically. Went to Kamdar last week and bought some material to be made into long A-line skirts and blouses.

Thus, the transition has been easy and effortless. Once my mind was made up, there was no turning back. I still feel the same although am hoping to improve myself as a Muslim which is a long, long way to go.

My March babies

2009-04-01T10:12:00.005+08:00

Reza and Sarah had their birthdays last month. We had dinner at Lemon Garden, Shangri-La to celebrate Reza's 34th birthday and for Sarah's 4th birthday it was lunch at Nyonya Restaurant in SS2. Both birthday babies had a great time. Happy birthday, my darlings.

Gloomy Sunday

2009-02-22T17:02:00.005+08:00

It is a gloomy Sunday, rain drizzling outside and making me feel sleepy. However, sleep has to take a backseat as I have a 4 year old to entertain and who is not sleepy at all. Gone are the days where Sarah would nap in the afternoons. Now she is up 12-14 hours a day. Maybe this will change once she starts kindy in June.
Here is a photo of her at the Dino Exhibit at KLCC earlier today. Sometimes when she feels really Jurassic, she calls herself Sarah-saurus!

On a caffeine high

2009-01-18T07:19:00.001+08:00

18 January 2009

I feel like giving myself a good walloping. I should know better but I still do it. It is 6.47 am and I am still awake thanks to the iced coffee 12 hours ago. I cannot drink coffee or tea after 6 pm in the evening. My cut off time drinking caffeine is 3 pm but I still drank it anyway. So here I am still wide awake while everyone is fast asleep. I am so envious of those people who can drink coffee, tea or anything with caffeine and can still go to sleep like a baby. I wish my body isn't so weird. I have been like this ever since I started drinking coffee and tea as a child of 8. I thought by now maybe perhaps my system would overcome it. Fat chance.

The imam at the mosque behind my place is giving a khutbah over the loudspeaker about the Jews so am half-listening to it as I type this. This imam is one angry guy. He slams the Jews at every khutbah due to the current situation in Gaza. He is saying they are stubborn and faithless. Whatever. My personal view is if HAMAS didn't start launching rockets in to Israel then less Palestinian children would be dead. Why can't each Muslim country in the world take in 10,000 Palestinian refugees and let them get back on their feet until one day they can reclaim their land? Ah, well that is just a thought. I rarely write about current affairs but when kids are dying by the hundreds daily, I am really pissed.

Boycott? What for? Coca Cola, McDonalds, KFC, Starbucks etc have Muslims employees. If we boycott all these American stuff, we will put many Muslims out of a job. We need the American trade like it or not and boycotting them just because of what Israel is doing to Gaza now is not the answer. Anyway, tell me honestly, is there any substitute for a can of Coke, a quarter-pounder, a snack plate, double latte with cream? And what are the protests at the American Embassy for? A bloody waste of time, really. Can't these people focus on local issues instead? School kids in remote areas of Sarawak walk barefoot to school which is like 10 miles away, one way so that is 20 miles a day. Can't we do something about that?

Ok better stop here. Must be the caffeine getting me all wired up. It is now 7.15 am and daylight is descending. I am going to attempt sleep now so wish me luck.

Our week up north

2008-12-15T00:13:00.005+08:00

14 Dec 2008

Just got home after 5 days away. It was a tiring week traveling and staying at different hotels; packing and unpacking. Left for Taiping on Tuesday morning and stayed until Friday.

Didn't bring enough toys and books for Sarah because we were not planning to stay long. Went to supermarket to buy some dinky toys just to keep her amused and a book from Popular book store. Days Taiping was spent eating lots of home-cooked meals at relatives homes. I love gulai the way Reza's aunties make them. Mine just doesn't taste the same.

On the day we wanted to leave (Thursday), Reza's Opah persuaded us to stay another day. So we did and we went to Parit Buntar for lunch at Mak Long's where Sarah had her first look up close at a paddy field which was right outside her house. The harvester machine was doing its rounds so that was an anti-climax as I had this image of the farmers harvesting by hand (too much reading Lat comics I guess). Those days are long gone.

Then, my ex-colleague sms-ed and invited me to his kenduri in Sg. Petani since I was already in Taiping. Thus, on Saturday we drove up to Sg. Petani which was an hour away if you drive like my husband.

The drive up to Sg. Petani was very nice because of the green paddy fields. The colour was just brilliant. Have a look at the Muksin movie poster and you will know what I mean.

We arrived at the kenduri thinking we missed the kompang, silat and bersanding part. Turns out the kenduri had no bersanding for the bride and groom. We arrived to see them mingling with the relatives and friends. A simple affair so we had time to catch up. After a nice big plate of nasi minyak, ayam merah, daging kicap and acar buah, we drove to Park Avenue Hotel to check-in for the night. After a wee rest and shower, we ventured out to town to look for food but found nothing decent and returned to the hotel. We ended up having Japanese. The sashimi was half-thawed so we sent it back - twice. In the end we told the waitress to not bother with a third attempt. Luckily the tempura and unagi bento was edible.

So that was my trip up north. I could have never taken time away like that if I were still working. It is now just over 6 months since I quit my job to be a housewife and full-time mom. I am not bored in case you are wondering. Everyday is different as the day is set by Sarah.

I don't miss working. I don't miss the waking up and the drive to work and back. However, I do miss my friends. I miss having meals with them, cracking jokes and sharing the latest gossip.

Now my life revolves around what to feed Sarah for her next meal, ensuring she is happy, clean and mentally stimulated. In between all that are the housework, running errands, making sure hubby has clean clothes and is fed and watered. So that does not leave much of 'me' time but am not complaining as I do get the few hours to myself when one of them is asleep to browse the internet or read the latest book borrowed from City Book Rentals. I enjoy the change I made and I love my life now. Wonder what the future holds.

Lazy in Langkawi

2008-11-07T00:42:00.004+08:00

We went to Langkawi from 26th October to 1st November for 6 fabulous days of being lazy, sleep-ins and lots of eating. It was also our 6th anniversary. The first 2 days we did nothing but eat and sleep. On the third day we panicked as we realized we only had 3 days left so we crammed 4 activities in one day; horse-riding, wildlife park, snake farm (forgettable) and Temurun water fall (unforgettable). We hired a Mazda Premacy on the 1st day but it made creaky noises when negotiating corners so we asked for an upgrade to a Nissan X-Trail the next day. However, it turned out to be a fuel-guzzler. I reckon it cost us around RM150 plus but Reza reckoned we drove 2 twice a day and that the hotel was far from town.

We stayed at The Andaman. It has seen better days, sort of like a fading beauty queen.
Good points:
- Our room was on the ground level right next to the jungle
- The staff were nice and friendly
- Sarah loved the Kids Club where she spent most of the time when she was not at the pool
- The games/reading room had a good selection of books. Read one and nicked one (sshh...don't tell!)
- Nice beach with powdery sand
- No crowds in the hotel, pool or the beach
- Towel change twice a day (yay!)

Bad points:
- The menu in the main restaurant was poor overall; bland, limp looking salads, tough steaks. It was catered more for Mat Salehs (lots of them around)
- A non-halal Japanese restaurant which we found out when wanted to order Sarah her unadon and miso soup. Apparently, all the soya sauce and marinades have alcohol. We high-tailed it out of there and headed to our favourite haunt, Coco Beach (some say it is a tourist-trap but we love it)
- We mentioned our anniversary was on the 26th (the day we checked-in) and they gave us a standard chocolate moist cake on the 27th. So much for detail

Reza could not get enough of Laksa Power © at Padang Matsirat near the airport. They sell laksa, mee rebus, cendol and rojak buah from the back of a van. So almost everyday he needed to have his fix of laksa and mee rebus near the landing strip with the sea breeze gently blowing...mengada! Have tasted better ones in KL.

For lunch, we would drive round the island to look for nasi campur stalls in the kampungs. I would holler 'Bookmark! Bookmark!' as we passed yet another nasi campur joint knowing that there was just never enough time. I loved the ikan masak pindangs and singangs, gulai jantung pisang and the nasi lemak Langkawi where the rice is like nasi minyak and not cooked with coconut milk. Had to eat more ulam and sayur to counter the cholesterol.

All in all, we had a great time and plan to go back for Sarah's 4th birthday next March.

Gory Gash

2008-10-16T02:43:00.003+08:00

I have a confession to make. The sight of blood makes me go weak in the knees. I feel like passing out if I see more than say a drop of blood (my menses don't count).

Last night's incident just made me go really woozy just thinking about it. At around 10 pm as Sarah and I entered Dominos pizza in TTDI (Reza waited in the car), I saw a teenage girl and her father at the counter placing an order. However, something was wrong with the picture; the girl's right foot was bright red and for a moment I couldn't understand it. Then as her foot grew a brighter red, I told the father that his daughter's foot was bleeding and he said yeah, she got a cut on the sole on entrance steps, he said it was sharp and I turned round to look - they were smooth. He was not looking at her foot but I was and slowly more blood started to pour out of the wound. I alerted him that she has to go to emergency.

Somewhere in my panicked mind I remember that pressure must be applied to the wound and her leg must be elevated. Needless to say, with the blood slowly soaking the floor, those thoughts did not come out verbally and with that I went into panic mode. I remembered thinking, 'must get Reza, must get Reza' because he is always calm in an emergency but I didn't.

As those thoughts raced through my brain, only the her father noticed the blood and got the girl to lift her leg to show him the cut. OMG!!!, I nearly died because as she did that the blood just flowed like a tap and there were bits of flesh hanging loose and some actually fell off. I nearly shrieked 'get her to emergency, you fool!' but instead I said 'you must go - now' as calmly as I could. Offered to take him in our car but he said his car was right outside the outlet. As more and more blood gushed out of his daughter's foot, he got the message. He helped her on one side and I held her the other to get to his car. Sarah was taking all this in disbelief.

As we were halfway through the door Sarah began to cry so I left the girl, scooped Sarah up and plonked her in the car quickly telling Reza am helping a bleeding girl. By the time I got to the man's car, he was already driving off. I looked at the steps again, there was no blood but on the road just before the steps began, there were bits of broken tiles, soda can tabs and glass. That coupled with her wearing open toe slippers and a wrong footing as she was coming out of the car caused the accident. So I went back into Dominos following the blood trail and there was blood and flesh all over the floor at the counter like a Quentin Tarantino movie. One of the guys began mopping the floor. I counted to ten and breathed, then the pizza guy called my name - my triple cheese with extra mozzarella was ready. What else could I do but pick it up?

Went into the car to a still crying Sarah and narrated the incident to Reza. He asked if the blood was bright or deep red. Told him bright red at first then a deep crimson...he said most likely the her vein was gashed that's why. I was babbling non-stop because I was still in a panic and by then feeling deeply guilty. I knew what to do but I panicked because I just couldn't get over the blood. I should have made her sit on the floor, lift her leg up and put my palm on the wound to stop the bleeding then get a first aid kit, stick a thick wad of gauze on it and tie it up and only then go to emergency.

I hope she made it because Reza said after 20 minutes the body goes into shock and cardiac arrest follows due to lack of oxygen. I feel like such a failure for panicking and letting my nerves get hold of me. Reza told me I did the right thing and not to berate myself over it as I did the best I could but I still feel bad as I should have done more. Thus, the moral of the story is this...don't wear slippers and pray I am not in the vicinity when you get a bloody wound.

Salam Aidilfitri 2008

2008-10-09T16:36:00.010+08:00

How was my raya? Sedate. This was because after all that feasting, we were all like on a high. I would be lying if I say I didn't stuff my face silly.

Yes, Eid should be about reflecting on the past month where we fasted and abstained - not just about the food. I was quite sad ramadhan was over actually because it felt as if the 'magic' went away when the takbir raya started.

Anyway, we arrived in Taiping 2 days before raya. We didn't inform Opah so she didn't cook so we buka puasa at Cashier Market where the food was good but ambiance was much to be desired.

The only exciting event was when we bought Opah a new television. Her old one went kaput the day we got there. So off we went to look for a electronics store and managed to find a 21 inch Sanyo. She was so happy and told us no need to give her duit raya (we did anyway).

After subuh on the last day of puasa, Reza went to the graves of both his grandads and grandma to read Yaasin. He specifically wanted to do it before takbir raya. He says the best time to offer Yaasin was when it was still Ramadan. This year is the first time he did this and it won't be the last.

For buka puasa that final day, we went to Cashier Market again after driving round town without much luck for a decent restaurant to break fast in. While waiting, I went to look for Sarah's baju kurung. Found one that didn't look too tacky for RM20 at the market. After buka puasa we took Sarah back to the hotel for steamed fish.

After Sarah had her dinner, we went to Opah's house. Sarah did not like being at Opah's because it is always hot even though the fan was full blast (maybe next year we'll get her an air-conditioner). However, her cousins were there so she was distracted for a while. Once the kids exhausted themselves with Pop Pop and sparklers, Sarah announced she was sleepy. Drove her back to our hotel room (Legend Inn) where she suddenly became alive again. The sleepiness was a bluff. She just wanted to be back in the air-conditioned room.

Raya morning was pretty quiet. We got up, Reza went to the mosque while I tried to get Sarah to wear her baju kurung. When he came back we went to Makcik Bedah's (Reza's auntie) who lives next door to Opah to have nasi perisa, ayam masak merah, rendang, kari daging and lemang. Once all the food was digested we went back to Opah's where we ate nasi briani, kurma chicken, daging masak hitam and more rendang. Yes, too much feasting went on. We didn't go to any other relatives' houses. Pretty much stayed put at Opah's; lazed around, ate and lepak some more.

Second day raya found us having roti canai and nasi lemak at KTM station. The nasi lemak was good and in Taiping, you eat nasi lemak with ikan goreng. Not sure what fish it was but it was fried to a crisp and went down well with the sambal and fluffy coconut-infused rice. The roti canai was crunchy yet soft and when 'banjir' with the dhal curry, fooh, the taste was out of this world. Reza had 2 while Sarah and I had one each.

Not 2 hours later we had lunch at Opah's place. Simple home-cooked food of ayam kicap, sambal udang, ikan goreng and sambal belacan. They all love my sambal belacan and it is the one 'dish' that I can do really well. Father-in-law forgot to buy the limes so made do with assam jawa juice which didn't taste quite the same. Still it was edible and I had 2 plates of rice. Oink! Oink! For dessert we had pengat pisang, my favourite and I had 3 bowls - hey, they were small ok.

Once got all that digested, we headed back to KL. Thankfully the highway was not jammed up with cars and I drove halfway coz Reza was totally out. Then, once we got home, it hit us - raya was over. Well, until raya haji that is.

Ramadan Musings

2008-09-15T23:52:00.003+08:00

Ramadan is on its 15th day. In a few weeks we will be in Taiping for raya. All the weight loss will be re-gained then. Have not bought any new clothes. Sarah will wear the purple baju kurung that she wore for Irene's wedding while Reza will wear the baju melayu that was made for Irene's engagement. They may or may not wear their outfits. As for me, maybe a blouse and a pair of trousers from Ms Read warehouse. No baju kurung for me, not if I can help it. It is not because am shunning my culture, merely for practicality. Opah's (Reza's grandma) house has poor air circulation so wearing a baju kurung is an invitation to being all hot and bothered the whole day. That is why we do not like to wear baju kurung and baju melayu during hari raya. In this case, I better buy Sarah and Reza some new clothes as well then.

Raya cookies...I hate them. Everyone's houses has jars and jars of them. The jars are all in matching motifs. Why? I go to a person's house expecting a full meal not cookies. I hate that there are gazillion types of them come this festive season and the hosts will take offense if you do not eat some. However, I make an exception for Mak Long's pineapple tarts - hers are to die for. It melts in your mouth and tastes of real pineapple not pineapple jam from a jar that I have come across. The pastry dough in Mak Long's pineapple tart is really soft and crumbles in your mouth. Ahh..can't wait! Ordered 200 pieces so that will keep my tummy happy.

It's August Already?

2008-08-03T18:12:00.004+08:00

Lo and behold, we are in the 8th month of the year. Time sure flies. Had a great break in Langkawi for my 36th birthday. We went up the cable car and a walk on the suspension bridge. I freaked out and discovered I have phobia of suspension bridges. Sarah and Reza just laughed at me. We also visited Underwater World Langkawi which was just average, nothing to shout about.

This is a photo of Sarah and her newest toy - a devil hairband. She loves it.

A month on being a SAHM

2008-07-03T20:54:00.003+08:00

It is now a month since I quit my job to be a stay-at-home-mum. Everyday Reza asks "Are you bored yet?" and my answer has been a firm "No". How can I be? Sarah keeps me occupied. She and I have become mall rats. We go to Ikano, Ikea, 1 Utama on weekdays. She loves riding on the machine operated rides. Her favourite is the horse carousel at 1 Utama. Dug out all the coins from the piggy bank to fund these rides. My mum has been away twice in the past month so Sarah and I had lots of exclusive time together, which was fun. Sarah claims my steamed garoupa is not up to par to my mum's but in those desperate times, she swallowed my cooking. Am not very good at cooking all of a sudden. The more I watch Asian Food Channel (AFC) the more my cooking skills goes down the drain. Reza is convinced am out to poison him. So now I don't cook - it's take-out or my mum cooks. Hahaha!!!

Power Rangers Mystic Force

2008-06-24T17:47:00.004+08:00

Sarah is into Powers Rangers - Mystic Force. She walked into Speedy Video a few months a go and saw the VCD, which she made me buy. I have since, bought 3 more VCDs, colouring books, stickers, a T-shirt and a training set (sword, phone, mask and cape).

Her favourite character is Nick (Red Ranger) and she loves 'transforming' into Nick. She will take the outfit and hide to change into it - she won't let us see how she does it. Today, I added another 3 T-shirts to her collection as I am a gullible and over-indulgent mum. Woo-hoo!!!

Statement from a Moronic Retard

2008-05-25T17:06:00.002+08:00

Sigh! Another idiot moron in my books. What a stupid cow. School uniforms sexy? Incites rape? I can't believe we have Malaysians with brains like this.

National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia vice-president Munirah Bahari - you need a lobotomy.

Read the article here: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/5/22/nation/21326822&sec=nation

Toxicologist Professor Dr Mustafa Ali Mohd from University of Malaya is a MORON!

2008-05-11T11:05:00.009+08:00

My BlackBerry blinks with lots of Happy Mothers' Day messages from family and friends.

However, my mood is now spoiled thanks to Toxicologist Professor Dr Mustafa Ali Mohd (the bald one in the pix) from University of Malaya and the comment publised in the NST's Focus article today titled 'Toxins in mother's milk'.

Please read it here: http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Sunday/Focus/2234690/Article

He has no proof - where is his data that show POP (Persistent Organic Pollutants) are present in mother's milk? How big is the sample?

I hate men like this who make comments without facts. Obviously he was not breastfed and neither were his children.

UPDATE 20.05.08

My paeditrician Dr. Koe Swee Lee wrote a reply to the article above - WOO HOO!!!!!

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Tuesday/Letters/2244983/Article/index_html

2008/05/20

Breast milk: Contaminants aside, it's still the best for babies

By : DR KOE SWEE LEE, Malaysian Paediatric Association, Kuala Lumpur

THE report "Toxins in mother's milk" (Focus, New Sunday Times, May 11) is alarming to breastfeeding mothers who will be worried that they are contaminating and doing harm to their babies.

Dioxins produced during industrial processes and persistent organic pollutants (Pops) such as PCBs are of great concern because they remain in the body for a long time and contribute to the presence of contaminants in mothers and babies.

Research has shown that the foetus' trans-placental exposure to PCBs and dioxin (during pregnancy) adversely affect the neurological and perceptive development of children up to 10 years of age and growth up to 14 years.

The greatest risk period for adverse effects from environmental exposure is pre-natally, during pregnancy.
Breast milk may increasingly contain contaminants early in lactation but this decreases after the sixth month of breastfeeding.

The rapid growth of infants in the first year of life leads to growth-related dilution of contaminants in the first year of life.

Presently, it is not possible to reduce the toxins already in the environment to any extent.

It is reassuring to know that studies show that postnatal exposure to PCBs and dioxins through breast milk has not been shown to affect the neurological or perceptive development of infants and children.

A Dutch study (in 1999) of foetuses exposed to background environmental contaminants found a difference between formula-fed and breast-fed infants.

Although breast-fed babies were more exposed to environmental contaminants, the formula-fed infants demonstrated adverse neurological outcomes compared with breast-fed infants.

It is believed that substances in breast milk may have countered the negative effects of the toxins.

The World Health Organisation and Unicef and breast-feeding advocates have devoted much effort to promoting breast-feeding and the benefits of breast-feeding to the mother and baby.

There are thousands of scientific studies that confirm the short and long-term health benefits of breast-feeding to the baby.

To advocate formula-feeding in lieu of breast-feeding to reduce the exposure to environmental toxins is to ignore the weight of scientific evidence.

Not breast-feeding the child exposes him to repeated mild and serious life-threatening infections and increases the risk of obesity, Type 2 diabetes and certain types of childhood cancers.

Formula-fed infants have been found to have at least eight to 10 fewer IQ (intelligence quotient) points compared with breast-fed children.

Breast-feeding also reduces the risk of breast and ovarian cancers and osteoporosis in the mother, not to mention the natural family-planning benefits.

The strong message to mothers is: continue breastfeeding your child. The components in breast milk have been found to protect your child from the effects of toxins and promote the best physical, emotional and IQ development of your child.

UPDATE 21.05.08 - Another intelligent Doctor in my books - YAY!

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Wednesday/Letters/2245242/Article/index_html

BREAST MILK: Focus on reducing toxins in food

DR BALKEES A. MAJEED, Penang

YOUR report "Toxins in mother's milk", (New Sunday Times, May 11), which may discourage mothers from breast-feeding their infants, is factually erroneous.

Breast-feeding is the recommended standard of the World Health Organisation (WHO) with regard to providing nutrition and nourishment for infants. This is also the stated policy recommendation of the Health Ministry of Malaysia.

It is well-established in scientific research that the presence of toxins in human milk arises from the food that the mother consumes or from the environment she lives in. These toxins are deposited in the fat cells of the mother or are passed on to the infant during pregnancy or through breast milk.

However, scientific research shows that the immunological and developmental benefits of breast-feeding outweigh the side effects arising from the toxins in the breast milk to both the mother and infant.

Anybody who is exposed to a contaminated environment or food is likely to have toxins in their body. Toxins accumulate in different parts, including adipose tissue, brain, bone blood, liver, placenta, semen and also breast milk. If we were to test infants born anywhere in the world, we would find in them industrial toxins.

The intake of toxins by breast-fed infants, as reported in a WHO study, is the same as or somewhat lower than that of infants fed on formula mixed with local water. However, your report argues to the contrary that formula-feeding is far safer than breast-feeding, though it is not substantiated or proven by scientific research.

Even Prof Dr Ahmad Ismail, whom the writer quotes on the issue of toxins in breast milk, acknowledges that "breast milk is the best as it provides components essential for infants' growth and development".

Rather than avoiding breast milk, our society must focus our attention on reducing toxins in the environment and in food, which is the most effective way of protecting babies and mothers from harm.

Al Fatihah - Rustam A. Sani

2008-04-24T23:23:00.003+08:00

My good friend Salha, lost her father-in-law, Rustam A. Sani, yesterday. He passed away at 3am of a heart attack. He was 64.

He is survived by his wife, Rohani, son Azrani, daughter Ariani and grandaughter Arissa.

To me he was a kind, loving, doting grandfather to Arissa who is 2 weeks older than Sarah. I met him at family gatherings and most recent was Arissa's 3rd birthday party at the Lake Club. I still can't believe he is gone.

Reza went to pay his respects and was there until the burial. He said Azrani was in a daze and Auntie Rohani was inconsolable. I cannot imagine their pain and sadness.

Salha was very close to him and from what she told me of him, he was a good man of great intellect.

For more of his thoughts and views, go to http://www.bobjots.org/2008/04/so_long_comrade_rustam.php

Allah knows best. Amin.

Sarah is 3!

2008-04-03T19:11:00.006+08:00

Our beloved girl turned 3 on 28.03.08. We took her to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah for her annual birthday celebration. We stayed at Shangri-La Tg. Aru which was superb. The staff sang her Happy Birthday when we ordered a slice of chocolate cake with 3 candles for her to blow out. She was thrilled. Her favourite spot was the kiddies pool. We ate a lot of seafood. During the 4 days we were there, Sarah ate steamed Tiger Garoupa for almost every meal. She loved it.

Happy 33rd Reza!

2008-03-18T20:37:00.009+08:00

I surprised Reza with a BlackBerry Curve cake for his 33rd birthday on 15th morning. He was really pleased and said it was the best birthday present ever! We celebrated at BB Seafood Village that night, opposite Subang Terminal 3 airport. The cake was too pretty to cut up, we delayed it as long as we could.

Hello Mr. Rat

2008-02-08T17:10:00.000+08:00

Kong hee fatt choy. This is Sarah posing with her ang pow given by her beloved Nanny. We were at KLCC waiting for the lion dance show on the first day of CNY. The troupe were delayed and we couldn't wait so we left. Sarah was so disappointed.

Where are you Sharlinie?

2008-01-25T23:54:00.001+08:00

I cannot imagine what her parents are going through. 16 days since she has been missing. How can we not find her? Ya, Allah, keep her alive and safe until we get to her.

Tony

2008-01-09T20:43:00.001+08:00

We are giving him up for adoption. Sarah is allergic to his dander. He is a cutie-pie.

Selamat Pengantin Baru: Irene & Maj

2008-01-08T19:12:00.000+08:00

They were wed on Christmas day and this was the reception on December 29th 2007 at Felda's Merak Kayangan hall.

Happy 2008!

2008-01-08T19:04:00.000+08:00

This is Sarah clowning around at Ikea over the weekend. She will be 3 in a couple of months. Seems like yesterday she came out steamy and squashed up. Hahaha! I didn't get the promotion but am not sore. Try again, I say. Re-connected with an old friend, Izzy. He is in London, never came back at all since I last saw him about 14 years ago. He seems content and happy. Not the angry and confused Izzy I knew.

Old Friends

2007-11-21T20:42:00.000+08:00

I reconnected with old friends from college recently via Kaypo Klub. It was a trip down memory lane. I feel sad. If only I wasn't such a rebel child, my life would have turned out differently. Am not complaining, just wondering how it would have been on the path not taken.

Al Fatihah - Hazlishah Abdul Hamid

2007-11-02T00:10:00.000+08:00

An old friend of mine, Dij, lost her husband to cancer on Monday 29th October 2007. He passed away at 10.50pm (UK time). It was his 38th birthday. I am so saddened by the news. His diagnosis was confirmed late September and a month on he is no longer with us. The doctor said he had 6 months but he deteriorated rapidly over the weekend. I can only imagine her sorrow yet she is so strong.

I pray Allah places him amongst His beloved and that He gives Dij continued strength.

http://www.pausetoreflect.com

Innalillahi wainna illaihi rajioon. From Him we came; to Him we return.

Rest in peace, Mr. D.

Open house

2007-10-19T00:47:00.000+08:00

I went to open houses during Raya where the food was superb but below were what peeved me big time:

- polystyrene bowls and cups
- no mineral water/plain water in sight (brought my own from second house onwards)
- portions served too small or like one house, the hostess ran out of rice - honestly!
- food not heated up properly
- cheap tasting cookies

That is why any Raya cookies given to me will be brought to the office for those who don't mind them. When I open my house I make sure the guests eat off proper plates, glasses and have A LOT of food for seconds and thirds. If you are not generous enough then don't have one.

Raya 4 days away

2007-10-09T18:57:00.000+08:00

Every year when Ramadhan starts hubby declares "I don't want to go back Taiping - every year it's the same, so boring". This year was no different. He wanted to go to Bandung, Kota Kinabalu, Singapore - naming all the places but his kampung. Then 2 days ago he said, "Ok, well go back lah, kesian Opah..." So I pick up the phone and dial the hotels wih fingers crossed. Thankfully, there are rooms for the eve and for the first few days of raya. He wants to leave on the eve along with ten thousand other Klang Valley folks. I pray the roads will be clear.

The routine is the same every year. We go to his Opah's house and eat breakfast then the men go for raya prayers. When they come back, we eat again and then go visiting. First is Tok Chik's house for ketupat palas and rendang. Next, Makcik Ida's house followed by a few more houses. By 4pm we will assemble at Opah's house for a bit then head back to our hotel room to change. After Maghrib back to Opah's for dinner and after that supervise the kids as they play with sparklers. So folks that is the drill. Let's go!

The last days of Ramadhan

2007-10-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

I am going to terawikh tonight for the first time ever. I am nervous but I will never know unless I go. Reza said this last days is the most berkat.

Let me explain why I am nervous because other to Muslims doing terawikh is no big deal. To me it is. You see, I was not brought up in the proper Muslim way. My father was never around and my mum a Muslim convert, although loving, did not know enough herself to guide me. Her wayward husband was more interested in booze and women. Anyway, I learned to pray on my own. Over the years I prayed and stopped. I never performed my daily prayers religiously and just wondered at those who did.

It is a shock to my system having to pray again after so long (since last Ramadhan, actually) so it feels weird. I am embracing this change with a bismillahi-rahmanirahim...

For Nurin Jazlin

2007-10-04T18:00:00.000+08:00

Nurin Jazlin's missing poster appeared at the lobby of my apartment building a few weeks before she was found.

Everyday I passed by the poster wondering when? when when? My 2 year old daughter kept asking "what happened to her?" So explained that the girl was missing and that her mummy and daddy are looking for her.

When a child goes missing for that long, what are the odds that she can be found safe and sound?

When the unidentified dead child's body was found and her photo appeared in the papers with the suggestion that it was Nurin Jazlin, I, like her parents just could not see the resemblance much more accept it.

Then when the DNA results confirmed it was Nurin Jazlin, I still couldn't accept it.

How could DNA be wrong, right?

On the day she was buried my husband told me to take down her poster. I took it down and kept it. That is the only tangible association I have of her. I hope I never have to see any more posters of missing children.

I don't know why Nurin Jazlin's death affects me so much. I can’t stop thinking of her.

I guess it's because I am a parent and this could happen to my child. I am guilty letting my girl run ahead of me in malls or when in a bookstore or toy shop, I let her explore so understand her mother's anguish, she assumed Nurin Jazlin went out with her older sister.

What I don't understand is why she was killed in such a horrific manner?

Can you imagine the pain and suffering Nurin Jazlin went through? This is what keeps me awake at night.

We need a system where a missing child can be found within hours. As Tembam, Nuraina and other bloggers have proposed - we need an Amber Alert for missing children in Malaysia and we need it now!

We can't wait for Datuk Sharizat, the Police etc to get their act together. We got to take control and set the alert ourselves.

Groovy Girl

2007-09-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

Sarah goofing, posing with her sunnies on. Picture taken on 3rd September 2007 by Reza.

Mummy, look at me!

2007-08-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

Matrade Building 12th August 2007

Helping Nanny pound ginger

Starting her young...

Happy Birthday To Me!

2007-07-28T17:30:00.000+08:00

I turn 35 today. I don't feel it - is that wrong? Sarah wished me "Happy Birthday, Mummy" (coached by her grandma). I got ang pow from my mum. Few days ago, got ang pow from office mates. Had lunch at Rebung in Bangsar, birthday treat from my sister, Irene. Then we went to have cake at Starbucks. Reza gave me the best present - a new Honda Civic 2.0. Woo-hoo!!! She is so fine, so fast! I love it.

Happy 2nd Birthday, my darling Sarah

2007-05-19T22:55:00.000+08:00

This is a belated post. Sarah turned 2 on 28th March 2007. We celebrated in Berjaya Redang. This was the shot taken by the waiter. We got her slice of chocolate mousse cake which she enjoyed very much.

Mummy, what's this?

2007-05-19T22:32:00.000+08:00

Sarah is at the stage where she is asking about anything and everything under the sun. This evening on the way home from dinner she asked about everything she saw: lampost, billboards, signboards. She asked the same things again and again, like a broken record.

Been home with her full time for a week (Mummy is in Perth, Australia for my grandma's 80th and also my Auntie Yen's wedding). It has been a long week, 24/7 constantly catering to Sarah's needs. We get up round 8am, have breakfast then I bathe her after which we watch Disney Playhouse Channel and play with Playdoh.

Then we'd play on the bed, read or go grocery shopping. Then it is lunch where all she ever wants is Maggi Mee Chicken Flavour. My attempts at cooking her wholesome meals just went out the window. After lunch it ismore telly and finally when she is tired, a nap. Depending on how tired she is, some days she slept for only a few hours and yesterday she was out for four.

When she wakes up from her nap, it's Tom and Jerry non-stop with some Playdoh. In between that it she plays with her toys as I do laundry, clean up and grab a shower till dinner time.

Then it's bath time followed by dinner. After dinner, she either plays some more or puts on Tom and Jerry. When her Reza comes home, he plays with her for a while.

Finally, around 10.30 pm to 11.00 pm, her battery drops low and requests for nen-nen where she falls asleep at my breast. So that is 15 hours with a 2 year old toddler.

Can't wait to get back to work!

Semi-retired cow

2007-04-06T21:44:00.000+08:00

060407: Poured them down the sink this morning. My heart just sank. Reza emphatised as he took the photos.Now the empty bottles are all soaked in sterilizing agent ready to be passed on to the next mum.

050407: The time has come. Been delaying it since January when she last drank EBM (expressed breastmilk) from the bottle. These were the stock (17 bottles of a average of 4 oz each = 1.9 litres) as they were in the fridge for the past 3 months. I wanted to prolong keeping it for as long as possible. Perhaps Sarah will change her mind? I doubt it. She takes direct from me since January. So sad. Shouldn't get so emotional but can't help it.

Lake Gardens 18th March 2007

2007-03-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

Run, Mummy, run!

Ooh...you are so cuddly.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

2007-03-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

Reza turned 32 yesterday. This photo of him was taken by Sarah. We were having dinner at Basil, Bangsar Village for his birthday dinner last night. He and I were chatting about things we did as a child and below are his experiences:

1. Stuck biji saga (the vermillion seeds of the rosarypea) up his nose, thought it would be fun so stuck another up the other nostril.

2. Swallowed a 20 sen coin by accident while tossing it in the air. Had to wait for it to come out in his stool the next day.

3. Jumped off balcony (10 feet) thinking he was Superman. Sprained ankle badly.

4. Locked himself in the bathroom for 8 hours for fear of being walloped by his dad after he dropped a watermelon upon returning from the supermarket.

5. A rat ran up his leg and hug on his nuts when he wore a sarong.

6. Ate a cockroach in his sleep thinking it was Smarties.

7. Put his head through the front gate as an experiment. Stuck for 4 hours till his dad came home and rescued him.

That last one is my favourite.

Mini break at Sunway Lagoon

2007-01-14T14:28:00.001+08:00

About to tuck into some ribs at Tony Roma's - 28th December 2006

Sarah and Reza at Sunway Lagoon Hotel pool - 30th December 2006

Sarah and me at Sunway Lagoon Hotel pool - 30th December 2006

Sarah sliding down on her own - 29th December 2006

Sarah testing the water at Sunway Lagoon Wet Park - 29th December 2006

Sarah and Reza at Sunway Lagoon Wet Park - 29th December 2006

Me - the Hunter?

2006-12-26T09:56:00.000+08:00

Gwen Stefani - "I'm the milk cow"

2006-12-04T15:22:00.000+08:00

Thursday, November 30, 2006 on Much Music interview, Gwen Stefani said "I'm the milk cow". I love her. Go to the article and find out more:

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2006/11/gwen_stefani_im.html

When she's ready

2006-11-29T11:34:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, a friend asked when I will wean Sarah off the breast. My answer was 'when she's ready'. My initial timeframe for breastfeeding was 6 months. But it's coming up to 2 years.

I love breastfeeding Sarah. I feel so useful, wanted and needed; knowing something that is flowing out of me is really good for her, it's just amazing. That's why I don't understand when non-breastfeeding mums go 'oh, i ran out of milk' or 'it was too painful for me' or 'my baby didn't want to nurse'. Why did they gave up so easily? I know for a fact that there is no way you can run out of milk, getting the baby to latch takes practice - both mummy and baby are learning something new. Anyway, all those excuses are just sad. I am not 'lucky' with breastfeeding. I worked hard at it. I broke down several times and nearly threw in the towel; my nipples got sore, I had shooting pains after Sarah nursed but in my head a small voice nagged at me...'it should not be painful..breastmilk can never compare to formula...just one more day...' which was when I went to Mamalink where Christine Choong helped me latch Sarah on properly. Ahh...bliss! bliss! I tell you - when you get a proper latch, it's a fabulous feeling. It's an addiction.

Three for today

2006-11-23T14:01:00.000+08:00

Raya photos

2006-11-23T13:52:00.000+08:00

Dressing up

2006-09-24T14:24:00.000+08:00

She is 18 months old this month. Words are coming out fast and furious. We love it.

Eating on the go

2006-08-27T22:38:00.000+08:00

These were taken en route to Penang in July. Sarah was hungry and had to have her favourite McD's porridge in the car. Photos taken with my Nokia 6020.

Ride with me

2006-06-20T10:46:00.000+08:00

Sarah's into wheels now. Anything round that moves, she will have her hands on it.

Fringe benefits

2006-05-20T21:35:00.000+08:00

Had her fringe chopped off. She did not like the visit to the hairdresser. If looks could kill, the hairstylist would be six feet under now. Sorry for the quality as these were taken with my Nokia 6020 camera on night mode.

Kuching

2006-05-03T06:01:00.000+08:00

I dream of Jeannie!
Auntie Jeannie and Sarah at Top Spot Food Court, Kuching - 20.04.06.

Cat Museum, Kuching, Sarawak.

Sarawak Cultural Village - Bidayuh walkway.

Sarawak Club. Dinner given by relatives.

Sarah at Kuching waterfront out for a stroll.

Semenggoh Wildlife Park

Hubby dearest

2006-04-05T21:58:00.000+08:00

Hubby dearest says that more photos must be uploaded!! Here are some - for now.

Happy Birthday Sarah!

2006-04-05T18:21:00.000+08:00

Sarah Binti Ahmad Reza. Born 28th March 2005. This photo taken on 30th March 2005.

28th March 2006, PJ Hilton.

28th March 2006, PJ Hilton.

30th March 2006, Holiday Villa, Cherating, Pahang.

Our little one is 1 year old. Can't help feeling weepy as Sarah now gains her independence; walks well, is a great imitator and gives sloppy kisses upon request. Happy birthday baby girl. We love you so much.